Now I Don't Know What Not to Believe

One in five atheists currently living in the United States believe there is a God.

I should probably pray that this is a joke, but I instead find myself wondering if the other 80 percent of American atheists who, well, actually know what "atheism" means aren't correct. How can there be a God who lets people walk around not even knowing what, or rather Whom, they weren't believing in. I know my God wants everyone to get the joke when the lights inevitably go out.

Sadly, the statistic is true. It comes from the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life's U.S. Religious Landscape Survey, which involved some 36,000 American adults.

What may even be more disheartening for both God and any mortal who wants to believe most other mortals are at least intelligent enough to exercise their free will in an informed manner when making decisions regarding life, faith, and basic word choice, is that more than 50 percent of agnostics who were polled by pew reported that they believed in the existence of God.

Maybe if I do some further polling about these people's heads and shoulders, they could be convinced that if they believe in God, they can't be unsure about whether they believe in God.

I suppose there is one sliver of a silver lining to this leaden cloud of ignorance -- a nimbus to the nimbus, if you will. Only 1.6 percent of survey respondents said they were atheists, and only 2.6 said they were agnostics.

But, then again, how would they know?