Early Indications of Uncoolness

Album: The Feelies, Only Life, 1988

Best Track: "The Undertow"

Lasting Memory: Yesterday, I spent a majority of my post bemoaning my 1999 realization that I wasn't exactly the musical maverick I imagined myself to be. Truth to tell, that particular moment of clarity should have occurred in the spring of 1991.

That earlier period is when I had the following converstion with one of the cooks at Buddy's Restaraunt, where I was waiting tables and doing regular stand up gigs.

Mise-en-scène: A Tuesday or Wednesday night around 9 pm. The place is almost completely empty, except for a hippie duo on stage who are absolutely murdering "What's Goes On."

Me: Man, if The Feelies could hear what those two are doing to their song, they'd just about die.

The Cook: Like how The Grateful Dead must fell when they hear The Feelies' cover.

Me:

The Cook: You gotta learn this stuff, man.

Me: Yeah, but these guys on stage still suck.

And the worst part about this converstion is that the song was originally written by Lou Reed and recorded by The Velvet Underground. The exchange between me and the cook surpassed simple musical ignorance to become something truly pure and beautiful in its lack of reliable information. A White House press secretary couldn't have done any better.

I wish I could say I was smarter now or that I wasn't able to think up probably a hundred other times when I was caught talking out of the side of my neck, but I won't commit either of those particular lies to virtual print.

What I can say with absolute certainly is that Only Life is one of the best albums of the 1980s. It rocks, and it rolls, and it even holds up your lighter for you during the slower moments so you have both hands free to operate the bong or crack a fresh beer. (Well, I had to lie about something. Didn't I?)

Why a song like "Away" wasn't a smash hit is one of those damnable mysteries. Why another song like "Deep Fascination" didn't, um, fascinate nearly everyone is more than a shame.

There is no filler on Only Life, but for no reason I could really say, my favorite track on the album is "Undertow." Feel free to sing along in your best Lou Reed meets the Grateful Dead impression; at least the confusion of me and the cook was understandable. I call that the first step toward forgivable.

Bring back the innocent lords
It may be later than you think
There's new places to explore
But the old ones return tomorrow
Lines are forming all around
Hear them cry out above our heads
Divide the years apart
The passive grumble like a shell

I'm the intended, hear the call
Try to be careful and I don't know why
One hundred years, maybe more
I'm the intended and I don't mind it

Waiting patiently
Walk over to the window
Then you look away
Can't see no accidents
Waiting endlessly
It will be easier and
We will be together
Just another test
Like any other test

I'm the intended, hear the call
Try to be careful and I don't know why
One hundred years, maybe more
I'm the intended and I don't mind at all

And it all comes down
As you wait for the dream
You've known all along
But you're waiting alone
For the moment to come
And you hear them call
And you hear them call
And you're waiting alone

Up Next: Flat Duo Jets, In Stereo, 1992