Define "Essential"

Album: Aerosmith, Greatest Hits, 1980

Acquired: Bought from the Little Creek Amphibious Base Navy Exchange circa 1984

Best Track: "Dream On"

Lasting Memory: VISWA Wrestling Tournament, 1985

The last time I can remember actually having listened to this album was during the drive up from Norfolk to the state tournament in Arlington my freshman year in high school. Yep, I just have to have my "Walk This Way" fix every 22 years, like clockwork.

The real truth is that I have almost never listened to Aerosmith's first collection of greatest hits because almost every rock station IS an Aerosmith's greatest hits collection. Turn your radio on right now, flip three channels, and dollars to hideously colored man scarves that would only be worn by a wizened androgyne, you'll hear an Aerosmith song.

Funny thing is, though, I spent nearly five hours in my car today listening to the radio, and I did not hear a single "Same Old Song and Dance" or get any "Sweet Emotion". And thank the little lord baby Jesus that I didn't hear any of Aerosmith's post-rehab work. I am definitely "Cryin'" and looking for Janey's gun every time I hear it suggested that some "Dude Looks Like a Lady."

Which brings me to my two main points for today:

1. Even bands that are ridiculously overplayed should put out greatest hits collections that a large number of people should own because such collections are essential.
2. Aerosmith, like too many solo artists and bands to mention, either never should have gotten sober or should have quit while they were musically ahead.

I would have had a third point, but I want to save my "radio sucks" rant for one of my albums from a criminally ignored bands. That rant is coming. Probably many, many times. I'll ask my readers to be patient before they get eventually get fed up with me for repeating myself.

So back to my first point. I went an entire day of listening to popular rock radio, and the only Aerosmith I heard was the stuff I inflicted upon myself. Bands and their catalogs do fade away. Can you even hear Ella Fitzgerald or Frank Sinatra on the radio any more? When was the last time the Beatles and Elvis weren't "golden oldies?"

Stock up on those essential compilations now, kids. For the fading artists mentioned, I recommend that readers use the comments to recommend what the essentials are. Today's classic is tomorrow's dimly recalled pop culture relic.

But certainly not everything old is venerable. Aerosmith made that case all by itself by somehow having the material from its 1986 comeback album remain in regular rotation on radio stations across the world. And that stuff sucks. And that stuff all sounds exactly identical. It's like Joe Perry put down his tuning fork and tab sheets on the same day he put down his heroin needle.

Crack is whack, don't get me wrong. But there sure has been a whole hell of a lot more interesting, vital, energetic, and plain rocking music made by inebriates than there has been by teetotalers. Prove me wrong in the comments sections, and I'll think about sending you my copy of today's album. Postage due. What am I, made of money?

This is an essential I could part with, however. I certainly didn't know when I bought it that I wouldn't need to hold it dear. I didn't even understand then that there was music that didn't get played on the radio. Tomorrow's album is one of the first that opened my ears to the world of music beyond the mainstream.

Up next: The Alarm, Declaration, 1984

Word Count to Date: 1,517